Wretched

The screams of people running the streets at 4:00 am should have felt more normal to me. Due to working in a bar for the past two years, but it wasn’t. But tonight it was more annoying than anything. Tonight being New Years didn’t make it any better. That only meant that there were twice as many people out and ninety-eight percent of them were drunk. The bar was supposed to close at two, but my manager had insisted on staying open for a few tourists and regulars that had begged him to keep the lights on. With a wad of cash in my pocket, I made my way to my car and checked my phone for text messages. 

Connor had texted me twelve times asking where I was and when I would be getting home. His last message came through at 3:24 am and read, “If you’re not home by five, I’m drinking all the wine.” Before going into work, I had told him to just go to sleep without me, but he had pushed me to just let him stay up and wait for me. I stumbled for my car keys and unlocked the driver’s side door and climbed in. The heavy door closed loudly behind me and the dark SUV felt heavy against my chest. A chill flowed through my skin and down my back. The key in my hand approaches the ignition and his hand around my throat. 

His rough dry palm pushed against the side of my neck and the ice cold steel of his weapon pressed against my windpipe. The shallow and rough breathing coming from my backseat was terrifying. I kept quiet fearing that if I said anything, he would turn the blade and make a quick cut. Without a word, his hand moved from my neck into my hair and he pulled the knife away. A deep voice commanded me to turn the car on and drive around the block. The car roared to life and the lights flashed on. With no hesitation I pulled out of my parking spot, like a million times before, and began to drive. When we reached the first stoplight, I could feel the steel shaking against my skin, letting me know that he was just as scared as I was. 

People around us continued to go about their nights like nothing was going on. I turned down an abandoned alley and put the car back in park. Both of my hands dropped to my sides and the atmosphere fell silent again. The long fingers left my hair and touched my neck again. A callus on the inside of his ring finger swiped against my ear. Almost as if he was trying to comfort me and make me no longer feel afraid, and in a strange way it was working. He shifted, making the leather seat squeak as it rubbed up against his legs. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he claimed in a raspy voice. My body went cold as I tried not to think about what he wanted from me. The cash tips from the previous bar shift, the twelve karat ring sitting on the left ring finger, or something much worse. His old knife had fallen from the middle of my neck to the collarbone. It felt as if he was becoming less nervous, as if he had gotten away with tonight's events. A bus full of obvious tourists drove past our alley, the passengers drinking and laughing loudly and enjoying their time in New York. I could only imagine they were avoiding thoughts of having to go home and back to their normal everyday lives. 

I, on the other hand, wanted more than anything to go home. I closed my eyes and tried to relax by thinking of all the things waiting for me once this night was over. The oversized king bed that was way too big for our studio apartment. The stone covered shower that would wash away everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours. Even the whole in the wall next to the bathroom door, that Connor had left last week after our huge argument. Connor himself, everything about him from his short brown hair to the hoodie he always wore. A heavy regret filled my soul as I remembered that I never texted him back. He probably just thought I was running late again or still at work, little did he know. 

The outside had quieted down and the car felt as if it hadn’t been driven in weeks. My new friend sat back against the backseat and let out a heavy breath. 

“You know, you’re not the one I was going to approach. There’s this woman that works down at the gas station on 6th south, it was supposed to be her. She parks her car in the same spot everyday and leaves every night at exactly midnight. Her name is Maddie, and she has the most beautiful curly burnt orange hair. For the past month, I’ve been buying a pack of cigarettes every few days from her. Funny thing is, I’ve never smoked a day in my life. But she was always there and sweet and flirting back. Then one day I asked her out and she laughed. Loudly. Then tells a coworker like it’s so passed around punch line.” He stopped speaking and made a whimpering sound, as if he was crying. 

“Then today, I go to wait for her. To show her how funny it really is, and she isn’t working. What a twist in events, huh? Only problem was, I already had the knife in hand and a plan in motion. Just needed someone else to fill her spot. I’m sorry you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I really am.” The hushed low voice disappears again. 

“It’s not too late to just go home,” I manage to choke out the words and hear him sit up. His blade once again stops right in front of my windpipe and he lets out a sarcastic sigh.

“Unfortunately that’s not true. I'm one of those people that keeps going once they set their mind to something. Although, I was going to hurt her the way she hurt me. I’m not going to hurt you. You actually served me a few hours ago, Gin and Tonic with a twist on ice. When I handed you your tip, and saw the wad of money you pulled out of your pocket, I made my decision. I just want the money. So if you could just hand it over slowly, I can go.” All at once I could feel my body relax. Every bit of fear was gone and I could finally breathe again. I shook my head slowly and reached for the money.

In the silence, a car a block away backfired and he jumped. The cold metal glided against my throat in a quick motion and made my body go numb. My breathing slowed as my neck and chest grew warm and wet. All of a sudden I was in the middle of Central Park, dancing to a local band with Connor. The summer heat was cooling down as it got later and our friends surrounded us dancing as well. The band stopped after the third song and he let go of my hand. The band played our song as he fell to his knee and asked me to be his wife. The crowd cheered as I said yes and he wrapped me in his arms, swung me around and held me tight. Then he kissed me like it was the first time all over again. 

My body fell limp as the car’s back door flew open, and then the driver’s side. For the first time tonight, I came face to face with my passenger. His black hair was long and unwashed, matching his overgrown facial hair. The pale skin on his face grew whiter when he saw what he had done. I began blinking more and more slowly as the rest of my body became cold and I slightly choked. He panicked and looked around, whether he was looking for help or witnesses, i didn’t know. The large hand that had once been wrapped around my now exposed neck touched my face for a split second, once again like he was comforting me. Then he reached into my pocket and grabbed my night's work and fled into the dark. 

I was alone, sitting in my car in an abandoned alley with no one looking for me. My blood stains my black and white shirt, a little bit more every second. Finally, my body started to slip out of consciousness. Just as my mind started to go blank, Connor’s ringtone sounded from my other pocket and I drifted off to the music of the song he once promised me his life to.